It's been a minute! I did not, in fact, die on my backpacking trip. Backpacking is an experience where the first time absolutely sucks ass, but you know it can be better, so you want to try and try again. I'm planning a few trips in the future to practice my skills.
I want to talk about my knees. At the end of last year, I fucked up. I was working on my rollerskating skills: going to skate parks, participating in a 'Learn to Skate' program with my local derby league, that kind of stuff. Turns out, all that running and jumping and squatting put a huge amount of pressure on my knees. I've gotten an x-ray, ultrasound, and MRI scan, and only the last turned up anything.
I have tendinosis of the quadriceps, Bursitis, and a mild chondral fissure. This means my quadriceps tendon has degenerated, my bursae (little sacs behind my patella) have become inflamed, and I have a crack in the cartilage between my knee and my femur. This, mostly, sucks.
I struggle to bend my knees without any pain and can't weight bear in squats for too long or for too deep. I can't skate without reigniting the pain. I can't hike for long periods, nor is it a good idea for me to go bouldering. These are my three main things so I'm incredibly bummed.
The prognosis isn't horrible, but it does excuse me from exercising my lower body in my usual ways for 2-6 months. I'm also lucky that these three issues also have very similar treatments:
My diet consists of a lot of fish, red meat, chicken, and dairy to keep up my protein needs. A few days ago I committed to using my heatpack three times a day daily, and so far I've seen a radical improvement in my mobility and how much weight I can bear. It's not cured me, but I feel more confident for sure. Stretching also helps, and so I've been stretching out my quads as much as I can. I am taking Celebrex once a day and will take it for 7 days to see if I can reduce the inflammation as much as I can. Physio is hard to get myself doing, but once I start I tend to finish it.
I'm trying really hard. I still get sad, though.
I love pushing myself to new heights, to try new things, and to feel like me and my body can achieve amazing things together. It sucks that I keep breaking every time I push myself. Maybe I should have a healthier mindset about these things, or maybe I should just start cross-training for the sports I play at the gym, instead of going into them with unbalanced strength.
Intake for roller derby starts in February. I know I'm going to miss out and have to join mid-year, and that sucks. I'm still coming to terms with it. I'm hoping to start bouldering with a buddy again next month. With any luck we'll stick to it. Maybe in March I'll be able to go for longer hikes, and maybe even indulge in a weekend away camping with a short hike. I miss my body. I miss how fit and capable we were. I am nostalgic for the times I was confident in my body and how it worked. I am nostalgic for when my limits were defined by fear, instead of my body.
As of time of writing, it's been about 3 months since I was initially injured, and about one month since I started physio.
I'll try to update regularly, in case anyone else is looking for information on a similar condition to mine. If I drop off the face of the Earth, I was probably miraculously cured and am living my best life.